Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Tuesday Oct. 12, 09
Yesterday was an agitated day and today was a day of refusal. The morphine IV drip in in place and the end is nearing.....

According to Ryan, Val was so "fired up" yesterday trying to get out of the house, banging on her window, and trying to get out of bed by herself once ( she is too weak to do so, but she was trying) that today she was "spent" and a bit more peaceful.

At 3 am this morning, Val was awake talking about a white bag. Dad finally figured out she wanted to feel and touch Fuller's dog food. As she gets closer to going to her new home, the comfort of thinking of her animals has been a common thread in her attempts at conversation. During the day today, she told her mother Lea that she had a new puppy named Fluff. What joy that thought must be for Val to think she has a new puppy!! The animals which bring such joy to Val's life have been an active part of her mind.

This morning started by Val biting Dad's finger and refusing the Ativan pill. The VNA nurse Mary came twice today to switch Val to a morphine drip (IV) through her chemo port. Val is now taking the Ativan orally by syringe as she used to take the morphine. No more pills! Boy that has been Val's feeling since day one of her cancer battle, and she finally is getting her wish. Dad will supplement the IV drip by oral syringe tonight as needed if Val is uncomfortable.

Dad is the best he could be under these circumstances. He is exhausted emotionally, physically and psychologically. He knew he couldn't let hospice in his house more than they already were. But he has finally said "I can't do this alone" and has allowed his children and Val's four stepchildren to help him. Ryan will leave for TX tomorrow early Wednesday, Alison will be there Wednesday and Thursday and then Baine will be there Friday into the weekend until I can go back up.

Rudy and Lea come daily 2-4. Rudy still reads to Val and Lea was given the job of swabbing her mouth and putting lip gloss on. Dad spoke to them to let them know if they need or want to come more now that it is near the end they should do whatever they need to do for Val and themselves as her parents.

Love and Prayers to Val always....Salynn


Anonymous said...

Val and Jay,
I think of you everyday and send prayers. I have been waking up with memories of some of my 'esoteric conversations' with Val. We would laugh alot, probably like my mom and Lea used to do.
Jay, I have such respect and gratitude for all of your children. I can't imagine what more they could do. I'm glad Rudy and Lea are finding ways to connect with Val.

smitrud said...

To all of you. I have a said a prayer and know that you all will be okay. Love Trudy