Monday Oct. 12, 09
The VNA nurse Mary came today. Dad asked Mary lots of questions about personality changes, mood swings, agitation, and hallucinations as Val's persona is no longer her own. Mary suggested giving the Ativan more frequently to keep Val from experiencing such periods of anger and agitation. For all who know Val, she is NOT an angry person. Perhaps, the cancer did metastize to her brain after the CAT scan of her head was done. Perhaps, this is a reaction to ALL her meds she is on (as it is alot). Mary the nurse did mention to Dad that some people become agitated and even violent or dangerous to hemselves. The Ativan can be changed to a different medication if Ativan can't handle these periods of agitation for Val. Val's request from the very beginning was not to suffer with pain; no one expected the suffering of the mind. Dad describes Val as "honery with abnormal behavior"; not violent yet.
As far as Val's day, well Dad and Ryan had her sitting in the chair twice today. She is awake a little during this, but continues to sleep 90% of the time. A new air mattress was placed on her bed to prevent bed sores. Val's water cup will be switched to a sippy cup as she is spilling her drink now ( last night at 3 in the morning all over herself). Rudy continues to read to Val every day while Dad lays in his bed to rest in the afternoon. Val ate two bites of soup and a few bites of pizza that she requested.
For all the days that Val never paid attention to her pets (at my last visit I had to take her hand to help her pet Fuller). They are on Val's mind in this hallucinatory state. Val is asking if there is enough cat food in the house for Diamond as she needs too take it with her to the next house. " I'm going" I've gotta get out of here" I'm taking Fuller" "Where is Fuller". It wasn't Val's agitated, unusual banging on the window beside her bed that bothered Dad today......it was Val's only lucid question...." Do you think I deserve this?" Somewhere in her mind Val is still able to think clearly about her cancer situation. Maybe the agitation is her way of expressing her anger about it...no one will ever know. I only pray the Angels and Saints have surrounded her from within to be with her in her mind at this time; I pray for peace within her mind.
Love and prayers to Val always....Salynn